Friday, June 24, 2011


"I think you underestimate your face."

"You have very nice eyeballs."

"You're hot. We should have sex."

"No, I like your ears! It's cute how they stick out."

"Are you sure that was your first time?"

"You have great DSL." ("what?" "Dick-sucking lips!" *look of pride at being clever*)


  1. I think I'm going to try #3 on that list at some point. Some point when I'm drunk and just dooooo not give a fuck.

    On a separate note, one time when I *was* drunk with my friend, we were talking to a pair of rather attractive if delightfully idiotic women. She complained that guys were always jerks, so my companion and I began taking turns complimenting her to prove it wasn't always the case. This is exactly how it went:

    Me: "Your eyes are like the midnight ocean crashing rhythmically against every fiber of my being with each furtive glance you give me over the rim of your glass."

    Her: "Oh my Goddddd"

    Brolin: "You have a fantastic body."

    Her: "Oh my Goddddd."

    Me: "The flush of your lips is as the brightest summer roses, inviting a kiss as passionate as their counterparts' sweet aroma."

    Her: "Oh my Goddddd."

    Brolin: "You're sexy."

    Her: "Oh my Goddddd, I can't even tell who's better!"

    Me: "I'm going to get another Scotch."

  2. #6 maybe he just thought you had a nice internet connection #imanerd