Sunday, June 19, 2011

Naked in the rain

The last post was SO SERIOUS OMG WHAT

So let me tell you about riding a bicycle in the rain and about 50 degree weather with a startling brisk breeze once in a while. While naked.

A couple of buddies (and "buddies" is the word I use to describe people with whom I am friendly, but rarely hang out - we're Facebook friends, and can probably count our in-person interactions on one hand - I feel it's important to conveying the spirit of this event to point out that really, I barely know these dudes) decided last minute to join in the fun, and brought along another friend I'd never met. We rode to the painting party, paid our dues, and walked in... to a room packed with nekkies. Suddenly, wearing clothes seemed really awkward.

We found a spot, stripped, and hunkered down to unpack paints and such. Then the 3 boys stood up. I was still fiddling with paints, when I glanced up, took in my, er, surroundings, and sprang to my feet quickly. "Suddenly I felt really weird being the only one still kneeling..."

There were some film-makers there doing a documentary, and they wandered over to interview our little group as we painted.

Documentary Guy: "Who's the instigator?"
Guys (gesture at me): "Her probably?"
DG: "How do you all know each other?"
We all make our answers, then the guy I just met pipes up: "She and I just met 20 minutes ago at a bus stop. True story." We spent the rest of the day announcing to people (including his dad, whom we met up with afterward), "we met this morning, and 20 minutes later we were naked!" Story of my life, friends.

Later the Documentary Fellas came by again, just as I was doing some outline work on one friend's butt. New Friend and I were interviewed yet again as we were outside spraying each other with sunscreen. It's cloudy, but c'mon! I can get a sunburn just THINKING about the sun for too long! And I can't explain why, but somehow I felt I didn't want to have a sunburn pattern of vines and flowers all over my nekkie bits.

As promised, I wore undies, which I think greatly helped with my riding-comfort level. After a while, I forgot I was naked.


At one point we were riding through a part of town not roped off for the parade, so there were cars. One woman stared at us, open-mouthed, as we went past the opposite direction. Traffic moved on, and she... didn't. Just seemed frozen by the sight of 300 or so boldly painted nudies careening through the streets on bicycles, unicycles, and rollerblades, in the rain.

A few times, my teeth were chattering so hard and my body was shivering so convulsively that I had trouble controlling my bike. I'm sure there are pictures of me on strangers' memory cards where I look like I'm grimacing, and I HOPE I GET TO SEE THEM.

Keep an eye on flickr for Solstice photos, and if you know me, let me know if you spot me. Especially if my face looks all stupid and contorted because my teeth won't stop chattering no matter how hard I'm trying to smile, because I'm betting it will look like I'm actually trying not to poop.

Probably one of my favorite parts of the morning was when a guy told me he had to give me "a G-rated compliment," and so leaned in and whispered, "you look hotter than a phoenix in August." Everything about this guy made me think he was as gay as my cat. Later he caught me straddling my bike, shivering violently, waiting for the group to head to the streets, and began chatting again. Friendly guy, friendly atmosphere; sure, I'll chat. Then he asked me to dinner. Wait... what? Seriously, up until that very moment, I would have sworn I had the wrong bits for his taste! I guess my gay-dar is broken. But now I can cross off "asked out while practically naked" from my bucket list.

And also, Internet? "Hotter than a phoenix in August" is a damn creative compliment, and I think you should all start using it.

1 comment:

  1. I'm still slogging through the 800+ pictures I took. >.<