Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Thanks to a co-worker, I can now share this gem with you. This is the checklist apparently given to bimbo teenagers who want to be sexy:

1. Pout lips CONSTANTLY, even while mouth is in use for other activities.

2. Make voice sound slightly petulant at all times. Men like it when you are petulant, even though you probably don't know what "petulant" means.

3. Writhe a lot.

4. Flip/tousle/toss hair constantly. Hair that is not in motion is NOT SEXY.

5. There is no such thing as too much makeup.

Ready? GO

(I'd also like to point out that this girl is 16 [holy shit I did not look even a little like that at 16], from Washington, was in some Miss Teen USA or some-such bullshit contest, and? recently married a 51-year-old B-level actor. FIFTY. ONE. Minus 16? 35. Their age difference has been able to legally drink in the contingent US for 14 years already.)

I'm sorry for that video. I am! Here, to make it up to you, another dancing doggy! Not quite as fantabulous as the chihuahua, but still better than the painful petulant pouty princess.


  1. It's called "Duckface," and I assure you we all make fun of/hate it as much as you do.

    Ladies, please stop making the Duckface in all your photos.

  2. I made it ten seconds. Then I stopped it and took a shot. Waited to see if The SOUL-CRIPPLING PAIN was wearing off, and took another shot just to be safe.

    So, yeah. The "drinking less" thing has been going well.

    Del's correct. Duckface must die. In a fire, for preference.

  3. I read that article about her getting married to that actor (who I recognize from the things he's been in).

    ....Jesus. H. Christ.

  4. Someone at work showed me that video. It was fucking awful.