Thursday, June 20, 2013

Everyone Loves a Genie

I've been in a relationship for a while now, and while I admit that huge chunks of this non-traditional relationship would make for some great blog entries, that's not going to happen. I don't like to write about things that are Current Events. As a result, BORRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIING. Genie, though, has been using eHarmony, and meeting some really, umm... interesting guys. She's awesome enough that she's letting me write about her latest crazy.

The guy seemed okay at first. They emailed a lot before meeting. She was a little concerned about the idea of dating a single dad, but I assured her that many things about it are fantastic. So they finally met, grabbing drinks at a happy hour somewhere near her workplace, and chatting for roughly an hour or so.

She said he was pleasant, funny, not at all put off by her crass jokes. A bit scruffy for her taste, but I told her that the guy is a single dad with a toddler - haircuts and clothes shopping for himself are really, really low on the priority list for him.

She felt like he was okay, but wasn't excited about him. There were little things that concerned her, but nothing major. Then the day after they'd met, he told her that both his father and his grandfather were avid collectors of "all things Dixie." That's right: these guys proudly collected and displayed anything they could get with the Confederate flag on it. And this was okay.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Otter Talk: Real Talk

When work gets too stressful, you gotta have an inane convo with a co-worker, amirite?

RC: this on the other hand
RC: is for you

Peanut: OTTER!

RC: a helpful otter even

Peanut: seriously wtf I need an otter

RC: yeah, it could probably be trained to grab you baking ingredients while you cook
RC: how awesome would that be
RC: you'd have your own show and you could leave us forever
RC: wait
RC: no otter for you

Peanut: at least you're not having to deal with all these damn XMLs

Peanut: so! I am going to watch that otter 5 more times

RC: well...
RC: at least you have a Otter

Peanut: who squeaks

RC: you need an Otter that writes XML
RC: XMLOtter!

Peanut: holy shit yes
Peanut: I need a slew of otters
Peanut: a peck?
Peanut: a herd?
Peanut: an XML Otter, a Baking Assistant Otter, a Litter Box Cleaning Otter, a Laundry Otter...

RC: Answer: A group of otters is called a family, romp or raft.
RC: I like a Romp of Otters

Peanut: totally
Peanut: I'm going to have both a romp and a raft
Peanut: the raft will be my work otters
Peanut: the romp will be my home otters

RC: The collective nouns for otters are bevy, family, lodge, or romp, (being descriptive of their often playful nature) or, when in water, raft
RC: oo, there are more
RC: apparently they are only rafts in the water
RC: An otter's den is called a holt or couch. A male otter is a meowter, a female is a queen, and a baby is a pup

Peanut: a meowter.

RC: lol
RC: yeah

Peanut: okay, so my couch actually has storage thingies underneath the cushions; thus, the otter couch can be IN MY COUCH

RC: A baby otter asking permission from its dad:
RC: "Meowter may i?"

Peanut: I can't even
Peanut: I will name the alpha otter Steve
Peanut: so when otters refer to his den, they can say "STEVE'S HOLT"
Peanut: with their little otter fists in the air

RC: lol
RC: love it

Peanut: so my home otters will be a romp, with a subsection of baking assistant otters, who will be a bevy. a baking bevy.
Peanut: the work otters will be a lodge and will wear fezzes.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

A Good Boss is Priceless

Boss to me around 3:40: "What time do you have to leave for your appointment?"
Me: "I dunno. 4ish? I might leave sooner. I don't want to start a project at this point..."
Him: "Yeah"
Me: "So basically I'm just watching a bunny chew."
Him: "HA!"

Then I demonstrated.