Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Yes, ALL Women

It's a trending Twitter topic, and has been for a while now. It's been in the news, and it's stirring up discussions everywhere it pops up.

This is good.

What's bad is that they are real women and real stories, and the need for these discussions exists at all.

Is it really all women? Probably. A lot of it is likely stuff the women around you barely think about anymore, because it's so ingrained. Carrying keys as a weapon, being leered at/catcalled/harassed by strange men on the streets or the bus, wavering uncertainly between being a prude or being slutty (The Breakfast Club, anyone?). If you try to remain pure, innocent, picky... then you are probably not enjoying life enough. You probably don't know what you're doing. You probably just haven't gotten it good yet. If you embrace your sexuality and try to own it, you're a slut. You're desperate. You're dirty and probably diseased and not worth actual love.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

A Normal Conversation... For Us.

Genie: oh and! do you know about demon porn? how about dinosaur porn?

Peanut: dinosaur erotica I've heard of
Peanut: but not demon or dino porn
Peanut: wtf
Peanut: who is sharing these things

Genie: oh yeah. what I said "porn" I meant erotica

Colonel Dr: never dino on dino. It's always dino on girl.
Colonel Dr: We saw it in an article, and I was one step away from buying it to see how bad the human race was...

Genie: how does a dino peen even fit in a person?

Peanut: I dunno, people do it with horses and they're pretty big right?
Peanut: maybe like a velociraptor

Genie: boyfriend's stepmom was telling me about it. she does the voices for books on tape...or cd or whatever and I guess she's being approached by a lot of these dino/demon people
Genie: is it sexy because the dinosaur eats you after you do it?

Peanut: maybe it's the thrill/danger of knowing they might
Peanut: or they could do it with vegetarian dinos, they're probably tender and loving

Colonel Dr: No, it's all about taming the beast.
Colonel Dr: Taking that big T-Rex, and making it worship you with the power of the V
Colonel Dr: I get that

Peanut: is it because you fancy yourself a T-Rex?
Peanut: if a T-Rex came around, would you consent to gay inter-species sex just to tame the beast?

Colonel Dr: I do think of myself as the T-Rex of this office. Maybe the state.
Colonel Dr: But no, no interspecies action for me.

Genie: but it's such a tiny V to a dinosaur. it'd be like me trying to do a mouse
Genie: there's no way my peen is fitting in a mouse

Peanut: did you just confess to having a peen?

Genie: I like to pretend I have a peen. makes me feel powerful

Peanut: sometimes I have dreams where I have one
Peanut: and it's always hilariously huge
Peanut: like, won't fit in pants
Peanut: I could do a dino with that one

Genie: a dino peen would be at least as big as a metro bus
Genie: that shit wont fit in me

Peanut: I think velociraptors are about the same size as a tall person
Peanut: I'd have to watch Jurassic Park again
Peanut: I'm sure it's historically accurate
Peanut: so you could do smaller dinos

Genie: ps - you and I WILL be reading a dino sex book in our future. it's a must

Peanut: dramatic reading, of course
Peanut: we can record that shit and sell it as an audio book

Genie: you can do the dino voices
Genie: actually, Colonel Dr can do the dino voices

Colonel Dr: This sounds like a win win to me. Millions of dollars split between us, and I finally get to show off my dinosaur sounds.

Genie: ...but srsly. I need to read one of these things

Peanut: needs to happen

Genie: I hope I dont get turned on

Peanut: I don't see how any of us won't
Peanut: we'll need to make sure all of us have our partners there so we can take care of things afterward

Genie: everything that's happening right now is amazing!

Peanut: best day

Friday, March 21, 2014

On Friendship and Forgiveness

The other day I was talking to Tumbleweed about the concept of forgiveness, versus cutting people out of your life. Some people are constant forgivers, and some are instant cut-and-run types. I think there has to be a happy medium.

What causes some people to choose one option or the other? She and her sister were raised in the same family, yet they have different approaches. My brother and I were also raised the same way, but he is more forgiving and accepting, and I am more ready to throw my hands up and walk away. I always thought it was because of my military upbringing - we moved so often that I didn't have much of a chance to learn how to develop long-term friendships, the kind that endure plenty of ups and downs and rough patches. But if that's my excuse, why isn't my brother the same way?

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Birthdays!

First post of 2014! Yaaaaaay!

I decided to write what I can remember from my past birthdays... because I love birthdays. If I know a co-worker's birthday, it goes on my calendar and I bake them something. It's just not a birthday without baked goods, dammit! The exception is my friend who is gluten/dairy/other-stuff-free, and I'm not brave enough to delve into that world of baking, yet. Luckily she's quite good at it so she makes stuff for herself. :)

But: BIRTHDAYS!! They were always a big deal in my family, so I love them. Not necessarily my own, but everyone else's. This morning I started thinking about past birthdays, and decided I have at least a few that were interesting enough to write about. I'd also love to hear stories of other people's birthday celebrations, so leave those in the comments if you'd like! Unless it involves barfing. I don't like barf stories.