Wednesday, March 28, 2012

OKC, I didn't really miss you

I re-activated my OkCupid account the other night out of sheer boredom.

1. I'm well aware I'm in no place mentally or emotionally to be dating
2. I've accepted that I'm not keen on the idea of meeting someone via the interwebz
3. I don't have a number 3 but my list looked sad with only 2

All that safely in my noggin, I realized I missed browsing the site. It's like people-watching from the comfort of my couch! It's just weirdly fascinating and so, here I am again. And just now as I was browsing about, enjoying witty profiles, cringing at sad ones, I got a new message. Eh?


Do you like to laugh?

You are so good looking that I would let you do anything to me, even make me look ridiculous, just to see you smile.

Have any ideas? lol

Presented to you here without comment. But... you know... heeee. I lied. I can't not comment just a little bit! These guys EXIST. And they're IN MY CITY. And I am thus reminded why it is so much better for me to remain single for the foreseeable future. Thanks, random OKC dude!  (though he is of course totally normal compared to this guy...)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Hello? Is this thing on?

I almost forgot about this thing! I got off track for a minute there, but here I am! I'm back! Exclamations!

2012 has been slow as far as fodder for stories goes. Let's see if I can sum it all up for you!

-Had a few dates with a guy who started out very promising: cute, smart, photographer, my age, GREAT kisser. Lots of fooling around and good times in that arena, but no actual sex - he had some weird hang-ups. He also, as it turned out, was still in love with his ex-girlfriend, and also kind of boring once he gave up drinking. I called it after 5 dates, pointing out that I was not, in fact, who he wanted to be with (that being his ex), and he agreed (he was very open about actively seeking other dates on OKC the whole time we were dating as well). He does get points for brutal honesty throughout the entire dating period. The 5th date was the one on which this happened:

He mentions his ex (certainly not the first time)
Me: "Are you in touch with [ex]?"
Him: "Yeah, that's who I was Skyping with this morning."
Me: "Are you still in love with her?"
Him: *no hesitation* "Yes. I suppose if I were to call it a day with anyone, it'd be her."
Me: " why did you two break up?"
Him: "Because that's a terrifying concept!"

-Had a few really awesome dates with a fantastically funny, sweet, attentive, smart attractive guy, with whom I felt absolutely zero spark. Big ol' sadface there. Super awkward telling him that, too. Recently noticed he's no longer active on OKC, so hopefully that means he found someone. Really PO'd that my brain and my bod didn't agree on that one.

-Had a few pretty great dates with another really funny, sweet, attentive, smart, attractive guy... same story. No spark. *grumble* Really hoping we can stay friends, but leaving that up to him.

-Went on one date with the gayest straight man ever. He skipped. He giggled. He commented on my "lovely" scarf. He did pretty much everything you'd expect your faaabulous flaming gay guy friend to do, except for the part where he kissed me at the end of the night (and the kiss? yeah, that part was SO not gay). Despite the pretty good kissing, I just couldn't deal. When he said he wanted to come over for "a movie and cuddles," I had to end things. Am I a horrible person? Maybe. But I find that when I'm with effeminate men, I act the way I do when I'm with women: butch. I had roommates who called me "boyfriend." If I'm dating a guy, I want to be the girly one.

-Fell madly, wildly in love with a total stranger in Austin, by which I mean I never learned his name but obsessed about him for 3 days and am still kicking myself a little bit for not flirting better when I met him (and then fumbling the whole thing even more when I got a second chance). Yeah, I obsess. WHAT OF IT.

-Oh yeah, and had a new personal low in the sexy times department.