Friday, May 24, 2013

Just an Average Friday Morning

Genie: can we talk about virgins?
Peanut: of course!
Genie: would you ever date one?
Peanut: I have
Peanut: I wouldn't *now*
Peanut: but in my 20s I took ... 3 virginities
Genie: you minx!
Peanut: I do what I can
Peanut: someone has to teach these boys!


Peanut: god will get rid of acne, too
Peanut: but only if you promise to ONLY have sex for procreation
Genie: thats what I do! sex only for procreation
Genie: weird how it doesnt seem to be working. i'd better keep tryin
Peanut: you can't do it in any position except missionary
Peanut: other positions are deviant
Genie: ooohhhh...well that there's gonna be a problem
Peanut: you do it in a sex swing, don't you?
Peanut: I knew it
Genie: no way. people break legs on those things


Col. Dr.: I just have a few good stories, mostly about trying to break up without it being my fault and revenge on a best friend who started dating an ex
Peanut: oh yes, the "try to get him to dump me" move
Peanut: I'm very good at that
Peanut: what was the revenge?
Col. Dr.: it was multi stage monkey shining
Col. Dr.: signing him up for gay magazines, not porn, but "gay teen life" "Out" stuff like that, so that his parents would see these magazines being delivered for him
Col. Dr.: lunch meat in his car
Col. Dr.: bought him a goat
Peanut: wait
Peanut: really?
Col. Dr.: had it delivered to his house
Col. Dr.: yup
Col. Dr.: tried to buy a sheep, but they were much more expensive
Col. Dr.: but the farmer dropped the goat right off
Col. Dr.: left a blow up doll outside his window in the yard
Col. Dr.: left notes to teachers from him, about how much he liked them
Col. Dr.: at some point it became more about the next prank than the revenge


Oh, and as of this morning, I can now add +1 to people I've seen shirtless at this company. *sigh* He was changing in the parking lot...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Embrace the Sex, Religions!

Recently I read a really fantastic article/personal story that I think everyone who was raised in, is being raised in, or is raising children in a religious-minded home should read and consider:

I won't claim to be an expert on religions - I'm nowhere near that. I was, however, raised in a strict, Southern, conservative, very religious home. When I was in elementary school, I started reading Sweet Valley Twins. To this day, I remember being confused by a part in one of those books where the family slept in on Sunday, had breakfast, read the paper, toodled about... but didn't go to church. What.

Doesn't everyone go to church? I thought. Isn't that what Sundays are about? We went Sunday morning for classes and a nice long "worship service." Sunday lunch was a big affair, then usually there were naps, and then it was back to church for evening services (no class). Sunday morning involved dressing up - and for me, as a girl, this meant dresses/skirts. Sunday night was a more casual affair with jeans, but never, ever shorts. Wednesday nights were like Sunday nights, except we usually had class followed by a short service. This was my life: church 3 times a week, every week, for over 17 years.