Tuesday, June 21, 2011

In which I rant (again)

(many hours later edit: I am in a much better mood now and the reason is BEHIND THE CUT! OH THE MYSTERY! THE INTRIGUE!)

Excuse me, Internet, but I am peeved. Pissed off, even. And rather than sit here and stew about the things that are irking me all by little lonesome, until I pretty much develop an ulcer, I'm going to go right ahead and share it all with YOU.


Time for a list!

1. Today is Summer Solstice. Even here in this cloudy grey Pacific Northwest, we're supposed to hit 75 degrees, and it's sunny outside. But I? I am sitting here in jeans and a sweatshirt, a blanket on my lap like a little old lady, and a space heater under my desk burning my shins. Because it's fucking cold in this office. Why is it always 50 degrees in offices? It's SUMMER, dammit, I want to be able to wear SUMMER clothes. And people wonder why I never wear skirts to work. My legs would freeze off, that's why! And my still-new bicycle would be sad because I can't ride it without legs.

2. I fail at sleeping! No, really. It's pathetic. I'm not sure how I manage to be retarded even in my sleep, but I do. I woke up several times last night with my sleep mask pushed up on my forehead. My forehead does not need to be blocked from light, self. My forehead is doing just fine. Also, self? Please stop waking us up every couple of hours all night. The cat does a good enough job without your help. Someone please tell me what's it like to have "a good night's sleep" and wake up... what's that word? "Well-rested." What IS that?

I'm sure there was more, but see? Now that I've typed it out and shared my frustrations with you, Internet, I'm feeling calmer already. So let's do a new list!

Things I've Learned in my Advanced Age

1. It's funny to say "advanced age" when I'm only 31. I don't know why. Hee.

2. If a boy doesn't ask for your number, he's not actually interested. I don't care if he flirts his brains out and kisses your face off or even if you bonk. No number? Not interested.

3. You can be skinny and still be disgustingly out of shape. OH HI THAT'S ME. I like to say I'm fat on the inside.

4. Gyms are stupid, and sweating is not fun (unless I am naked and someone else is involved). I'm finding bicycling to be pretty fun, but not the uphill parts that make me gasp like both my heart and my lungs are entirely too small for the rest of me. Anyone who knows me probably suspects my bladder is too small (it actually is, thanks for noticing!), so surely it's possible the rest of my organs forgot to grow up, too?

5. Dogs are awesome.

6. When I'm having a bad day, Maru helps.

EDIT hours later: Mood has improved. ANOTHER LIST HELLZ YEAH BITCHEZ

1. Took a book to the yummy pizza place with the DELISH house salad dressing in Pioneer Square and nommed solo.

2. Sat in Pioneer Square for a while watching an old couple play guitars and sing (for a while, to a group of tiny kids clearly on lunch from a nearby daycare? school?), and people playing giant chess, and just generally soaking up some sun.

3. Came back to the office to a Skinny Cow cookies-n-cream ice cream sammitch. OM NOM NOM *burp*

4. Had an excuse to make another list! YAY!

5. The winner:


  1. I don't really...have much to say. Probably because I'm trying to juggle work and writing right now and I'm sort of failing at both, so I need to readjust my attention. But 1. Hope you feel more smiley-er. and 2. I stopped asking for numbers for a number (no pun intended) of reasons. I've had girls give me their friends' numbers, lie about not having a phone, purposefully ignore calls/never return messages/etc. It doesn't happen all the time (or even often), but enough so that I got tired of it. So if I'm interested in a woman, I'll offer to give her MY number. She'll either deny it or take it (obviously), and if she makes an effort to call me or contact me, then I know the interest is mutual. It's worked occasionally, and it hasn't also, but since I'm fucking terrible at reading women, it's kind of my way of finding out with minimal effort or embarassment.

  2. 1.2 I fail at sleeping also. I used to wake up between two and three times a night. I don't do that as much now. I'm working on my sleep hygiene. Going to bed at a consistent time and waking up at the same time. It's helped a lot. Not sure how much caffeine you drink, but that my be part of the issue. I try not to drink anything caffeinated after 5p or it will wreak my sleep.

    1.5 Hell yes!