Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Helloooo gorgeous!

(In which I rant, but am totally ranting at myself just as much as I am at you. Just call me Ranty McRanterPants. Or... um. Don't.)

One of my favorite things about a man I'm dating is when he can look at me and say, "you're beautiful," and look like he means it. My ex-husband is the first guy I can recall being able to pull that off. The guy I lost my virginity to actually looked me in the eyes and said, "Well, I wouldn't call you pretty, but you're definitely cute."

Guess which one of them I believed more?

Unfortunately I'm not alone in feeling I'm "less than." Most women I know think they aren't pretty enough, fit enough, tanned enough, SOMETHING enough. Ladies, can I just say one thing? Just one?


Here's the thing: you're gorgeous. You are. I know a lot of people, and I've lived a lot of places, and not a single one of my female friends is anything less than gorgeous. It's true.

No matter what it is you think is wrong with you, there IS someone out there who thinks that one thing? That one you hate? Is ALL KINDS OF RIGHT.

Just to be fair, let me tell you what about me I find less than appealing (partially for feeling like if I want you to trust me and share with me, I have to practice trusting and sharing myself, but partially, let's face it, for my love of lists!):

1. My ears. I've been compared to mice, gerbils, Fennec foxes. I've been called Dumbo and Fievel. I've been asked if I want some cheese (the answer is usually yes), if I can wiggle my ears and fly (I can't even wiggle my ears, much less fly), if I can pick up radio stations with these babies (no, thank goodness, because that would be terrifying), if I can hear better than most people (I cannot; in fact, I watch everything with subtitles because my hearing sucks).

2. My eyes. I could sleep like Rip Van Winkle and still have dark circles/bags under my eyes. They've always been there, they always will be. I LOOK TIRED. Granted, I'm pretty much always tired because I suck at sleeping, but still. No matter how awake and alert I feel, I will still look hungover. And it only gets worse as I get older.

3. My chin. Or lack thereof. I have what is known as a "weak" chin. My brother maintains a beard to cover his, but I don't have that option (which is, you know, good). As a result I hate my profile.

4. My overbite. I had braces when I was younger, but I still have relatively large front teeth, and over time they've shifted quite a lot. This doesn't help with the rodent comparisons nor the profile.

And loads of other things, but let's just start with those. Women, why do we self-hate? Men, I'm sure you do, too, but not being a dude and all makes it a bit more difficult for me to speak to that. So now let's go through that list again:


Yep. That's all I've got for that. Because you know what? That's what I look like. And that's okay. Do you think I believe that 100% of the time? Oh HELL no. There are days when I consider selling a kidney so I'll have the money for plastic surgery/braces/whatever the fuck it would take to look more like Kristen Bell. Maybe a lung or some bone marrow, too, if that's what it takes to get it done.

But then I wouldn't look like ME.

My butt is bigger than it used to be. My stomach, too. I've learned that's okay. Some wo/men like stick-figure girls. Some wo/men like more curves. Some wo/men just like women, exclamation point. If Person A isn't attracted to who you are and what you look like, then Person A isn't the one for you. If you want to change how you dress, work out more, eat better - do those things because you want to, because you like to, because they make you feel better... not because you think you're "fat" or "ugly."

You're beautiful. Start acting like it.




  1. I've been friends and more with women of all different shapes, sizes, races and heights and I've found each one of them beautiful. Women are commonly referred to as the fairer sex and it's for good reason. Don't worry about what others look like or think. You are special and beautiful with what you have and there will always be someone out there who sees it in you as well. (Pt. 2)

  2. I have to agree on all points. As a man, I don't typically find myself envying the appearance of other men (although I do know this can and does occur), but I'm also very vain and self-conscious of my body and the way I look. Sometimes I wish my muscles were a little bit tighter, my nose a little bit smaller, my dick a little bit bigger, but I've also been with and around plenty of women who don't really care about these things. And then I realized...I'm doing the same thing a lot of women do. I worry about these things that a LOT of other people don't seem to mind. And those that do, who cares? (Pt.1)

  3. I love you even more after this blog post! You are right "Shut Up," we are all beautiful. :) PS I just wanted to say I love you one more time for good measure.

  4. Oh my goodness! What a beautiful post! I love that you're delving into the topic of self-love and body positivity! I've always thought you are completely 100% adorably gorgeous :) It's funny that the things you point out above as having difficulty loving about yourself are things I honestly hadn't even noticed. That puts things in perspective a bit & makes me think of how other people probably don't notice what I have trouble loving about MYself :)

    I also love lists, so here's a list for you! Things about you that are GORGEOUS!
    1. Your eyes
    2. Your tattoo that draws the eye to your delicate little wrists
    3. Your petite frame (I have difficulty not feeling envy about this one! Our bodies are so different!)
    4. Perky boobs! :-D
    5. That adorable smirk you have
    6. Your full-sail, all-out, cheesy, unabashed smile full of genuine amusement. There's nothing in the world more gorgeous!

    I also wanted to direct you to two (of my MANY) favorite body-loving blogs:


  5. <3 Erin! Thank you so much for this comment.

    Fun fact: you are one of the many women I had specifically in mind while writing this one, because
    A. I have seen your posts about/from alreadypretty.com (and love them!) and
    B. You're SO frikkin cute! I love so much about you, but especially your sense of style, which inspires me to be more feminine myself. I think you have a gorgeous figure, personally - you make all your lovely dresses look perfect! :)


  6. Seriously, I <3 this post. You're amazing and beautiful, and spunky. And yeah, we all need to shut up when we worry about how imperfect we are. I'll be honest, I don't want to be with a dude who's physically perfect (it's so... boring), so why would dudes want to be with women who are perfect? Perfect is intimidating, anyway. Our imperfections are what make us awesome :)