(In which I rant, but am totally ranting at myself just as much as I am at you. Just call me Ranty McRanterPants. Or... um. Don't.)
One of my favorite things about a man I'm dating is when he can look at me and say, "you're beautiful," and look like he means it. My ex-husband is the first guy I can recall being able to pull that off. The guy I lost my virginity to actually looked me in the eyes and said, "Well, I wouldn't call you pretty, but you're definitely cute."
Guess which one of them I believed more?
Unfortunately I'm not alone in feeling I'm "less than." Most women I know think they aren't pretty enough, fit enough, tanned enough, SOMETHING enough. Ladies, can I just say one thing? Just one?
Here's the thing: you're gorgeous. You are. I know a lot of people, and I've lived a lot of places, and not a single one of my female friends is anything less than gorgeous. It's true.
No matter what it is you think is wrong with you, there IS someone out there who thinks that one thing? That one you hate? Is ALL KINDS OF RIGHT.
Just to be fair, let me tell you what about me I find less than appealing (partially for feeling like if I want you to trust me and share with me, I have to practice trusting and sharing myself, but partially, let's face it, for my love of lists!):
1. My ears. I've been compared to mice, gerbils, Fennec foxes. I've been called Dumbo and Fievel. I've been asked if I want some cheese (the answer is usually yes), if I can wiggle my ears and fly (I can't even wiggle my ears, much less fly), if I can pick up radio stations with these babies (no, thank goodness, because that would be terrifying), if I can hear better than most people (I cannot; in fact, I watch everything with subtitles because my hearing sucks).
2. My eyes. I could sleep like Rip Van Winkle and still have dark circles/bags under my eyes. They've always been there, they always will be. I LOOK TIRED. Granted, I'm pretty much always tired because I suck at sleeping, but still. No matter how awake and alert I feel, I will still look hungover. And it only gets worse as I get older.
3. My chin. Or lack thereof. I have what is known as a "weak" chin. My brother maintains a beard to cover his, but I don't have that option (which is, you know, good). As a result I hate my profile.
4. My overbite. I had braces when I was younger, but I still have relatively large front teeth, and over time they've shifted quite a lot. This doesn't help with the rodent comparisons nor the profile.
And loads of other things, but let's just start with those. Women, why do we self-hate? Men, I'm sure you do, too, but not being a dude and all makes it a bit more difficult for me to speak to that. So now let's go through that list again:
1-4. WHO GIVES A SHIT.
Yep. That's all I've got for that. Because you know what? That's what I look like. And that's okay. Do you think I believe that 100% of the time? Oh HELL no. There are days when I consider selling a kidney so I'll have the money for plastic surgery/braces/whatever the fuck it would take to look more like Kristen Bell. Maybe a lung or some bone marrow, too, if that's what it takes to get it done.
But then I wouldn't look like ME.
My butt is bigger than it used to be. My stomach, too. I've learned that's okay. Some wo/men like stick-figure girls. Some wo/men like more curves. Some wo/men just like women, exclamation point. If Person A isn't attracted to who you are and what you look like, then Person A isn't the one for you. If you want to change how you dress, work out more, eat better - do those things because you want to, because you like to, because they make you feel better... not because you think you're "fat" or "ugly."
You're beautiful. Start acting like it.
(PS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS IT IS AWESOME)