You may recall (and mostly likely do, considering it was like 2 weeks ago, and this blog has less than 10 posts) that not long ago I had what I considered to be a stalker. A couple of days after he left the "RUDE/JERK" note outside my door, two more things happened. What's that mean, kids? A LIST! Because I love lists, even bitty short ones.
1. My best friend Hedgehog reported that he'd run into him at our regular bar, the night after the Crazy Handwriting Note Incident. This is where I met Scooter, and he knows it's "my" bar. Hedgehog said he waited around a bit to see if Scooter would acknowledge that they'd sort of met. After 10 minutes or so, he gave up and walked over - one of Hedgehog's shortcomings is that he is unfailingly friendly.
He approached Scooter and said, "Hey, you're [Peanut]'s friend, yeah?" Scooter looked at him, obviously recognized him, but replied, "[Peanut]?" Hedgehog said it was as though I was not the first Peanut to come to mind. Really? Because you weren't just outside my apartment, tap-tapping away at my door and leaving me insane serial killer-type messages?? Or maybe it's because he does that to allllll the ladies. Lucky us.
2. Scooter texted me the same day Hedgehog told me about the bar run-in. "Hey gorgeous! When do I get to see you again?" This was right as I was packing up to leave work. My knee-jerk reaction was to respond, "NEVER YOU CREEPY CREEPSTER!!" Hmmm... probably not good to piss off a possible madman, right? About 20 minutes later, I finally just replied, "I'm sorry, it's not working for me."
Almost immediately: "Lol okay"
...wait. That was it? That's all I had to do? Well, gee. I felt pretty silly. Aspud, even. (don't worry, I will explain "aspud" later. It will be worth the wait. I think.) Why didn't I just do that in the first place?
Oh right: because he fed kittens to a rottweiler. Everyone I told that little tidbit to reacted with immediate horror, and I was advised by multiple people to rush right out and buy mace. When the notepad outside my door came into play, there were more cries for mace, security detail, training my cat to become a Monty-Python-bunny-esque killer. I was wound the fuck up!
Then Saturday I woke up bright and early. Hungover. I always wake up really early after a night of good drinkin, and can't get back to sleep until I've pooped. Don't even pretend like that doesn't happen to you. So there I was, awake, waiting for the Gatorade I'd just chugged to do its job, and I needed to kill time.
I was coasting along through the Facebook app on my phone when I saw a picture someone had uploaded. I jabbed my finger on the screen to enlarge it, and it took me to the actual phone browser in order to view the full size. The Facebook login page loads up... and Scooter's name and password are sitting there in the fields, saved from the night we met and he used my phone to friend me on FB, just BEGGING me to hit Log In.
Really? REALLY? You're going to sit there with that judgmental look on your face??
Yes, I totally clicked Log In, and yes, I poked my way over to his inbox. First thing I see is an incoming message from a girl that says, "Seriously. You need to stop." The message is dated just a week before I met him.
Yep, opened the message. It starts out a message from him to her: "LET'S FUCK TONIGHT"
Her: Excuse me!?!
Her: Please don't send me messages.
Her: No what u said is rude.
Him: ALL I WANNA DO IS ZOOM A ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM IN A BOOM BOOM.
Her: Seriously. Please stop.
Is it just me, or is that the ranting of a completely crazy person? I don't feel silly or aspud anymore. I feel justified. I kind of want to be friends with this girl and say, "Solidarity, sister."