I just explained to a coworker the proper way to consume M&Ms, so I figured I'd lay some knowledge down for you guys as well. It's like one of those logic puzzles from elementary school, but a super easy one. Also, yes, this is how I really eat M&Ms, every single time. I cannot eat them in the dark (nor Skittles, although the rules for those are slightly different. ....don't judge me).
1. You must eat M&Ms in pairs.
2. Every pair must be 2 different colored M&Ms.
3. Every pair must include one "male" color and one "female" color. That is the gender of the color itself, not the gender for which that color applies (like the idiot notion that GI Joes are "boy" toys and Easy Bake Ovens are "girl" toys. No, these colors ARE male and female, in my mind).*
4. When you find yourself nearing the end of your M&M supply, you must dump out and pre-organize all remaining M&Ms to ensure you will be able to meet the requirements with the remaining candy.
5. M&Ms unable to meet requirements should be pawned off on friends or coworkers.
*This rule, it should be noted, is not strictly followed at all times in
adulthood. As a child, yes, but now I'm much more relaxed. If toward the
end of the bag I find my candy doesn't work out this way, I am
perfectly content to allow "gay" coupled M&Ms.** Often I also allow
this if I'm simply distracted, but rule #2 always always always applies.
**This should not in any way be read as a reflection of my views on homosexuality in general. The male/female colors thing is a holdover from childhood that will probably never go away. For the record, I'm pro-gay marriage, etc. That shouldn't even need to be said, considering I'm bisexual myself, but I really don't need my weird food issues to be interpreted by some pop psychology babble that will inevitably make me the bad guy. I JUST EAT CANDY WEIRD OKAY.
"Male" colors: blue, green, brown
"Female" colors: red, yellow, orange