As I'm reading more about polyamory, I have to admit the whole concept is fascinating. I have little experience with it myself. Before I moved to Seattle, I'd never even heard of it. When I first came up here, I was staying with some folks on their couch. They took me to a Halloween party at someone's house, telling me two couples lived there. Okay, I thought, the cost of living is pretty high here, so maybe that's a regular thing.
We arrive, and I'm introduced to one of the married couples. Not long after, I spotted the husband across the room, holding hands with another woman who had just arrived... and the wife was definitely flirting with me. I was baffled and surprised.
Turns out, the two couples lived together because 3 of the 4 were dating each other, and the 4th dated "outside the home." My small-town, Southern mind = blown.
Since then I've become friends with people who are active and successful with the poly lifestyle. One woman I knew for at least a year, along with her boyfriend, before learning that he was not her husband. That, in fact, both of them were married to other people. I also went on a date with a man who told me about his "primary" relationship with a married woman. At the time, I declined to continue dating him. I was still new to this area, and to the idea of polyamory.
Most of my current group of friends frown on the concept. Laugh at it, even. I think this is because in this particular group, we know of two people who have attempted this lifestyle, and both failed or are currently failing. I'm learning more about what I think is the ... true? form of polyamory, which is to say, open and honest communication, not having a partner and then using other people on the side for free meals under the guise of "dates." It also doesn't help when someone who is polyamorous touts this as The Lifestyle, spouting that "people are not MEANT to be monogamous," etc. Anyone who beats others with their own beliefs as being universal will have trouble actually being accepted. Some people are monogamous by nature, others are not, just like anything else.
This is all to say: I'm still sorting this all out in my mind, but I definitely want information, from all sides. Are you anti-poly? That's okay. Pro-poly, but not for yourself? Awesome. Actively poly? Fascinating. I'd like to hear from all of you! Why you feel the way you do, what your experiences are, etc. Either in the comments, or feel free to email me. If you choose to comment, though, please be respectful. Haters gonna hate - but if you can't be open-minded about different relationships and sex, you're on the wrong blog.