Tuesday, July 12, 2011


I have a friend who is Australian, and super friendly (and one of my Experts in Penis-Having on previous blog entries). Between his smiling, friendly demeanor and his charming accent, women tend to sort of blush and giggle when he chats with them. The problem is this: he's not single.

Why is that a problem? Well, he doesn't exactly lead with that information. He's a young guy, and he enjoys innocent flirtations. The problem is when the ladies take him seriously, only to learn later that he not only has a girlfriend, but also lives with her, which implies a level of commitment not to be easily broken by a new pretty face.

While I personally have witnessed Ozzie flirt with and charm young ladies without mentioning his girlfriend, I've discussed this with him and feel it's just part of his personality. Honestly, he's just as friendly with everyone - older ladies, guys, doesn't matter. He doesn't feel like "I have a girlfriend" is something he needs to blurt out immediately, particularly if it doesn't come up naturally in the course of the conversation. I met a couple of his "mates" not long ago, and was told only later by my friend that both of them have girlfriends back home. Neither of them acted inappropriately, but both were friendly, a bit flirty, and neither mentioned any lady love. Maybe it's a cultural thing?

I suggested Ozzie get a t-shirt made: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND; I'M JUST FRIENDLY. Or perhaps, TAKEN, JUST AUSTRALIAN. He asked me to write about this so I could ask you, my lovely readers of infinite wisdom and insight: when do you bring up your relationship status?


  1. That's really interesting that he says it never comes up. When I'm hanging out sans-BF & a friendly guy starts chatting with me, it's practically impossible NOT to mention my BF. I guess it's my tendancy to speak in terms of "we" instead of "I". Like if someone asks "So, do you have any pets?" I answer along the lines of "Yes! We (my BF & I) have a big fat kitty!" Other conversation examples...

    Boy: "What do you do for fun around here?"
    Me: "Oh! My BF & I & our friends love to do karaoke! There's a great bar in Fremont I know of with awesome people...blah blah blah"

    Boy: "Platipi (Platypuses?). Love 'em, hate 'em, or sign of the impending apocolypse?"
    Me: "HA! I LOVE them! My BF even has a platypus hand puppet & sometimes when I'm really difficult to get out of bed he'll goad me with it & make a silly platypus voice & then there's nothing I can do but LAUGH! & then I'm awake!" (this is 100% true, btw)

    I mean, this isn't to say that my life completely revolves around my BF. He's just a major part of it & I LOVE that. I've got nothing to hide! :)

  2. That is a tough, tough call. I mean, I agree that a person is not defined by their relationship, so if it doesn't come up naturally in a conversation, it could feel weird to just blurt it out with no context. "I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!... I'm just sayin'." LOL.

    On the other hand, a serious relationship is kinda one of those basic facts about someone that you find out pretty quickly if you interact with someone on a regular basis. So for the subject not to come up for him in semi-frequent conversations with peeps, I'd venture a guess that it's not because it just didn't come up, but that it was intentionally omitted.

  3. Well...it's unfortunate, but I think that there are many men out there (scumbags and non-scumbags alike) who flirt freely and without encumbrance whilst having a gal at home. They are then truly (or purportedly) surprised when it turns into "LET'S DO THIS." In my humble opinion, they either continue being surprised (and then do nothing because they don't actually care...or they're a bit dim) or actually do change their ways, proving that evolution is possible. When in Rome and all that jazz!

    I have a sneaking suspicion that the male ego is not terribly disappointed when it gets macked on, single or no.

  4. I re-read my comment, and I'd like to expand towards gender neutrality.

    I've seen fellas and ladies alike!

  5. I have a really hard time telling wither I'm flirting with someone or not. In fact I don't know that I can flirt. I just chat with people. Probably why I was single for so long.

    If I'm talking to a girl or guy my wife will come up in conversation. What we did last weekend, things we watch on tv. It also helps that most people I chat with are already married or in a relationship.

  6. Like others have said, it usually comes up in conversation. Most often as a "Oh, we once went there..." sort of sentence. Otherwise, frankly, I don't feel the need to go out of my way to say something if it's not relevant to the conversation.

    If I notice that someone is coming on strong then I may start thinking of some way to casually work mentioning my status into the conversation as a courtesy to the flirtatious one to let him know where he stands.

    This happened just recently at a party where I was being quite heavily flirted with. And I love flirting, honestly, and flirted right back while still working my relationship status into the conversation.


  7. I'm a big fan of brothercarl's tactic. I, too, am a big fan of flirting. It's fun and exciting and ego-boosting and harmless, even for married folks like myself, so long as we keep it in harmless territory.

    But it is only fair to the other flirting party to mention the existence of our significant other. Once everyone knows their places, the flirting can continue without any false expectations.

    Or not! Because the other flirting party should certainly have the option to save their eye-batting for someone they might actually score with.

  8. I get that it might be awkward to blurt it in conversation, but if it's beyond the first or second conversation, I think that it A) is a little odd that it hasn't come up naturally and/or B) would be a courtesy to the lady to mention it somehow (good call brothercarl). Especially if this particular fellow has been told of his extra irresistability to the womens, it might be worth finding subtle ways to work it it. Also, I vote for a hat or button instead of a t-shirt. T-shirts wear out too fast if you have to wear them all the time.

  9. free love for everyone