Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Oral Sex: Pt 2

It turns out that it's harder (heyooo) to write about oral sex than I originally anticipated. I thought to myself, I love to receive it, I love to perform it, this'll be easy!

But here's what it turns out I have for you:

1. Yes, do it.
2. Breathe through your nose.
3. Don't involve your teeth.
4. It's not entirely oral: get your hands on in there.
and one more, specific to blowjobs: 5. Just swallow. Nobody likes a spitter.

Having given oral to both men and women, I thought maybe I was a little bit qualified to talk about both sides. Then again, I have to admit I'm a little short on one requirement for gaining The Full Experience: I don't have a penis. I have actually instructed other women on how to give good head, but in the end I just can't speak to the feelings on the other side.

Solution: approach a few of my handy-dandy penis-havin' friends!

And the first thing I learned was that the dudes' reactions to me asking them about blowjobs was, "I'm a fan." Well... okay.




Now that you're done being shocked and amazed, now that your entire world has been flipped about, now that you're re-evaluating everything you ever thought you knew... yes, I tried more specific questions. Here's some of my results:

BobGinger: are you available for penis-related questions at this time?
Penis Owner #1: Um. Yes?
Penis Owner #1: What's your query?
BobGinger: it is re: blowjobs
BobGinger: I assume you like them
Penis Owner #1: Yes.
Penis Owner #1: Yes I do.
BobGinger: but I need more information
Penis Owner #1: Okay.
Penis Owner #1: Do you know anywhere that they are giving away free samples?

One of the questions I decided to ask is if guys like beejays as the main event, or only as foreplay.

Penis Owner #2: they are a great precursor to sex. it's rare that a BJ is all I want, unless the girl is amazing at it. and that generally requires two things:
A). A serious desire to give head. Not just doing it because, but really really enjoying it
B). And them being nuts

Penis Owner #3: well that depends
Penis Owner #3: both
BobGinger: depends on what? if she's super amazing at it? or your mood?
Penis Owner #3:  haha well I'm always in the mood! more like if she can't because of the time of month
Penis Owner #3:  then it's good as the whole event

Penis Owner #3 also contributed this: an unexpected bj is one of the great things in life. Like you're just sitting around, eating breakfast... and BANG.

So there you go. Blowjobs? Good stuff. Get on down there, breathe through your nose, keep it wet, don't use your teeth, DO use your hand(s), let your tongue in on the fun, don't forget about the balls, and SWALLOW. There's my advice for you. Go forth and suck it.

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