I've had a lot going on lately, so updating this has taken a backseat. Especially since when lots is going on, my brain becomes Grand Central Station and I'm lucky if I can form coherent sentences, much less write blog posts that anyone would care to read. But here I am with a little time on my hands, and a few topics rolling around in my noggin.
The Ethical Slut... I cracked it open on vacation, and while I haven't yet finished it, I do have some preliminary thoughts. I'd say I'm about halfway through, and I haven't stopped reading for lack of interest - just information overload because I'm learning a shit ton of new stuff at work and my poor little brain just wants a break when I get home.
Time for a list! My impressions thus far...
1. Pretty easy read. Topics are broken up into smallish chunks so you never feel overwhelmed.
2. It definitely feels like it's more geared toward people already considering or practicing polyamory, not so much as something that would convince anyone not already thinking about it to go ahead and give poly a shot.
3. I'm not a fan of the implication that people are just not meant to be monogamous. I'm really not a fan of any sort of broad generalization about all people. I'm pretty sure there are bajillions of people in the world, and I personally have not met even one bajillion, so I certainly don't feel confident in speaking for the entire mass. Everybody poops - that's about the most blatant generalized statement I will make regarding ALL HUMANS EVERYWHERE, and even then my brain immediately goes, "are you sure? really? there might be some kind of disease that makes a person unable to poop. Sure, they probably die from that, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen." Some people are inclined toward and happy being monogamous. Others are not. BRAINS ARE DIFFERENT, I don't know if you were aware.
4. Poly/mono tendencies aside, I think everyone would benefit from reading this book. Whether you have one partner or twelve, it has some really fun anecdotes and great advice about communication with your lover(s) and sexual exploration - with yourself and with others. Fun!
So is poly for me? Still undecided on that. I'm toying with the idea that maybe some people are lucky enough to find someone who fits them like a comfortable sock early on in life, and so they are happy. Their brains are just wired that way and they were lucky enough to find someone wired the same way, and it just works. Some of us, though, are not lucky enough to meet this mythical One early in life... or maybe ever. Maybe someday I will meet a person who makes me feel like it's okay to not be naked with anyone else who isn't my gyno, maybe not. Perhaps my curiosity about polyamory is just my fear of commitment barking, or perhaps poly is catching on because we as a society are becoming more independent and more assertive about our needs and desires, and I am just one of the many folks built that way.
The more time I spend single, the more I enjoy being that way. Sure, I still have those times where I'm watching some sappy show or another (*cough*Gilmore Girls*cough*) and I get all mopey and wonder oh my god when will I meet MY Luke?? but most of the time, I'm happy to spend time alone or with a few friends, doing whatever I want whenever I want (except for the whole having a job thing - that's more of a necessity). I used to constantly be in a relationship or at least dating/screwing someone regularly, but in the last couple of years the time between lovers has been increasing more and more, and I have no qualms about it.