Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I brought this on myself

As I mentioned recently, I've reactivated my OKC account. I'm still using it for people watching - not sending messages, not responding to messages. I even changed my profile so that it's completely ridiculous, just to have fun with it. I figured I'd get some really funny guys in with the super creepos that I am now pretty much inviting to my inbox.

Basically I rambled about the game Draw Something and how my friends and I draw penises in almost every round and how I find that completely hilarious. At another point, I talk about pooping. It's just me being as outlandish as I am, and not giving a shit if anyone cares to try to flirt with me because again: no dating for Peanut.

Not surprisingly, I'm getting some interesting messages.

"You're a weirdass motherfucker. Interesting though. Good job ;o"

"What is a Golem penis? This seems like crucial information I should know, as my people did invent the Golem." (oh... um... so I know the character in LotR is spelled "Gollum," but my friend was drawing "Golem" for me and either didn't know the difference or just thought this would be easier to guess/draw, so he drew a penis Gollum. the word was Golem. So on my profile I probably should have spelled it right, but in my defense I filled out the new profile while stoned. Either way. Points to me for confusing someone, I guess.)

Several messages saying how I'm really funny/hilarious and then attempting to join in on the humor by saying something about penises, poop, or boobs, but not actually managing to be funny at all. One guy sent me a long joke about old guys and technology that ended with one of the old dudes walking around with toilet paper hanging out of his ass, so that was at least effort, but mostly just weird because the first 2 old guys had phones embedded in their flesh so, you know... WHAT.

"Your profile cracked me up! Doing stand up yet?" Yep. It's all about peens. And I sit down while I do it. Because I'm pooping.

"Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello!!! .... A lot of people often comment that by just sending that to someone isn't enough to catch attention warranting a response. Obviously my ingenius fix to this is to type it six times instead of once. Hello!"

And then I got 2 in a row asking me if penis size matters. Even stranger: both guys who sent me messages asking that are from Las Vegas, and one of them has now deleted his profile. OKC TROLLS! I have opened my virtual door to them, I suppose.


  1. You You should put a picture of a really weird animal on your profile to see if you get more or less weird messages.

    1. Ha! That would be pretty funny, but if you post a picture that doesn't have you in it, users can flag it for removal. Otherwise I would definitely be using my Twitter profile pic. :)