Happy Valentine's Day!
[Peanut], you are a super lovely, super geeky, super sexy and an absolutely bad-ass one-of-a-kind girl!!!
I hope these flowers will bring at least a little of the happiness and sunshine into your day that you brought into my life.
From, Your Secret Admirer
My list of suspects was pretty short - I'm not close to many people. And I was totally baffled until I realized I've listed my workplace on Facebook, and anyone with half a brain cell could easily look up the address. I finally had one girl at the top of my suspects list, a girl who is sweet and thoughtful and always trying to cheer people up. Feeling ashamed of my earlier anger, and grateful that anyone cared about me enough to think of trying to cheer me up, I sent her a message saying if it was her, thank you. She neither confirmed nor denied, but I went on with my life thinking I'd figured it out. As another friend said cryptically on Facebook, "the exclamation points give it away."
Then, last Friday, which was Friday the 13th if that matters, I got a coconut.
I'd been out all day - first work, then happy hour, then a burlesque show with new friends. One of them, whom I shall call Rosie, came home with me afterward. I was going to change and we were going to go hit some local bars together. We approached my door, and I commented, "there's... something on my table." I have a small table outside my door, on which my faithful gnome keeps diligent watch. We got close enough to see it...
Me: "Is that... a coconut?"
Rosie: *grabbing for my phone* "We have to Instagram this."
My initial reaction was, "You can MAIL a COCONUT?!" I had no idea! Apparently this is a thing people do when they are on vacation in Hawaii. This little fella, however, came to me from somewhere local.
The USPS label showing the postage cost also showed the zip code of the post office responsible, which is in a neighborhood about 10 minutes from me. A neighborhood in which, I am pretty sure, I don't know anyone, nor do I know anyone who has business/work there. What.
The return address is no help - if you look it up on Google maps, it's... the Space Needle. Yeah. So... the Space Needle has A. a lot of admiration for me, B. a shy streak, and C. the ability to mail coconuts from far away neighborhoods. Awww, Space Needle! I like you, too! Just not really in that way... sorry, buddy.
I'm completely baffled. I don't even like coconut. The only coconut reference I can come up with is a Facebook status I posted about a month ago, saying how I want to go to Hawaii this year for my birthday. Yesterday - a Monday - I pulled the labels off the poor mostly-hairless 'nut and brought it to the office so that someone who actually likes coconut could enjoy the damn thing. My boss saw it, and having already heard the story via texts, immediately said, "It wasn't me." I definitely believe him this time. Is this the same person as the one who sent the flowers? Someone new who wanted in on the game (2 months later) after I shared the flowers on Facebook? Who has my home address? What's next??
Also, I'm pretty sure my brain doesn't work right. Am I flattered? No. I'm irritated. Why?
1. "Secret admirers" need to man up and say something. One cute little note is fine, but (sublist!)
- it should have a pretty obvious clue as to who it's from and
- the mystery not last very long at all - reveal yourself!
I can't help wondering what's going to happen now. Will I start getting random crap from more people, who have now seen my address and think it's funny? Does the person who is sending this stuff know that I'm obsessive and that this whole situation is going to drive me bat-shit insane?!? Does this kind of thing happen to anyone else I know??