Thursday, June 20, 2013

Everyone Loves a Genie

I've been in a relationship for a while now, and while I admit that huge chunks of this non-traditional relationship would make for some great blog entries, that's not going to happen. I don't like to write about things that are Current Events. As a result, BORRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIING. Genie, though, has been using eHarmony, and meeting some really, umm... interesting guys. She's awesome enough that she's letting me write about her latest crazy.

The guy seemed okay at first. They emailed a lot before meeting. She was a little concerned about the idea of dating a single dad, but I assured her that many things about it are fantastic. So they finally met, grabbing drinks at a happy hour somewhere near her workplace, and chatting for roughly an hour or so.

She said he was pleasant, funny, not at all put off by her crass jokes. A bit scruffy for her taste, but I told her that the guy is a single dad with a toddler - haircuts and clothes shopping for himself are really, really low on the priority list for him.

She felt like he was okay, but wasn't excited about him. There were little things that concerned her, but nothing major. Then the day after they'd met, he told her that both his father and his grandfather were avid collectors of "all things Dixie." That's right: these guys proudly collected and displayed anything they could get with the Confederate flag on it. And this was okay.

Genie and I discussed this at length. We were both kind of horrified. If nothing else, we posited, the guy she was dating should at least be embarrassed by his family. He swore to her they weren't racist or assholes, yada yada, just liked collecting ol' Dixie... but still, we both had this annoying feeling that Single Dad's family should at least recognize what that flag represents to the vast majority of people and maybe not flaunt that shit. We also really felt like Single Dad should, again, at least be embarrassed by the whole thing and not be all, "what's the big deal? They like it."

(Sidenote: he gave some defense about how he was raised "with Southern values." Seriously? Don't use "the South" as your excuse for being ignorant or a jerk. I've lived in a few Southern states and I have loads of friends from all of them who are not racist, close-minded, homophobic, or any other brand of asshattery.)

That kind of cinched it: Genie decided there just wasn't enough about this guy that appealed to her. Considering they had met all of once, she figured turning him down for a dinner invitation and then easing up on the texts would be all that was required to break it off. There was no relationship, there had been no dates, and they hadn't even been talking for more than a few weeks.

Didn't work.

She eased up on responding...

Genie: from tues - thurs. I'd respond to 1 out of every 3-4 of his texts w 1 word answers. by that fri I decided I pretty much didn't like him. so I sent him 1 "I'm busy" text on fri, 1 "your kid is cute" text (after he sent me 10 pics of her) on sat, "I'm not going to dinner with you" and "sometimes a girl needs some space" texts on sun and that was the last time I texted him.

That conversation was a full week and a day after the "I need space" text, and yet, he was still texting her.

Genie: about 100 pics on Wednesday of some cake he made for his daughter's b-day and more asking how my day was.
Genie: Thurs was a 'hi' and a 'hows your day going?' Friday asked how my short week was. sent a pic of a pig that said 'roses are red, bacon is red. poems are hard. bacon.' then sent a few texts about how funny he thought that was.
Genie: Today [Monday] it was just the how was your show kinda texts.
Genie: and whats really weird (well him texting 100x per day w/o over a week of no reply from me is weird) is that he and I met once. ONCE. for an hr or 2. and it was just ok when we met.

Peanut: I am SO glad he doesn't know where you live [we guessed he'd have shown up at her doorstep by now if he did]

Genie: RIGHT!?!?!?
Genie: I really wonder what's going on in his head
Genie: even the may or may not be gay guy I went out with last week... he sent me a few texts and I was all 'I had fun but the next for weeks are kinda busy' so he said 'understood. let me know if you want to hang out again'. haven't heard from him since. that's how its supposed to be

And the next day, Tuesday....

Peanut: please tell me Single Dad is still texting

Genie: you know it!
Genie: I got 2 "hi" texts last night

Apparently that finally did him in. Over a week of absolutely no responses from her, and yet he sent her more texts than I do in a month. I've had my own experiences with totally clueless guys, and I have absolute faith that I have been a clueless girl, but I have to say that I am almost impressed with this particular dude's perseverance. What's your Most Clueless Wannabe Suitor story?

(oh, and of course I texted her "hi" a few days after all this, just because I'm an asshole that way. "hi" texts are the worst.)


  1. WTF?!? That puts face-on-window guy to shame. Pahahaha

    1. Give him time... and your phone number. :D

  2. My ex-husband kept emailing me every few months for over 3 years *after* I stopped responding to him. I even blocked his email address, so he learned to use a new email address every time. I finally replied saying "If you contact me again I will consider taking legal action." He sent me one more "you're a horrible bitch" email & then stopped :) HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!

    1. I recently had to tell a certain Asshat that he needed to stop contacting me. I guess we're all just such loveable, wonderful women, these poor saps can't help themselves! :P