Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The P word and the D word

And by that, sadly, I don't mean penis and dick. Sorry.

Politics and divorce! What fun! I mean, really, those are everyone's favorite topics at a dinner party, aren't they? Casual banter with a stranger on a bus ride? Holiday topics with family?

Huh. Well. I'm gonna go ahead and write about them anyway. I feel qualified because I both voted and got divorced... one much more recently than the other, of course.

Politics first. And I'll keep it short. I'm not a political person. If people do try to engage me in a political conversation, I'm quick to make some weird (often offensive) joke and change the subject. I'm not good at serious conversations in general, but I just don't get most political things. You may as well try to explain foreign exchange rates to me, and believe me, it doesn't work. Smarter people have tried. That shit just will NOT click for me - that particular shit being foreign exchange rates - and I stopped giving a damn about 10 seconds into the attempted explanation. And the guy trying to clue me in was really cute and sweet and not pretentious at all, too. That's how much I don't care.

So when I care about something that's in the political realm, I still end up completely baffled. Not because I don't understand what it is I care about necessarily, but because I don't understand why it's even an issue. I'm sure you can guess which things I'm thinking of here - same-sex marriage and legalized marijuana.

Okay, okay, I know why they're both issues... conservatives who believe that for some reason there's a crazy entity in space who can tell us what to do, based on a giant rambling book supposedly written by men a bajillion years ago who could apparently hear his voice. I mean, COME ON GUYS. That sounds completely plausible, right? Why shouldn't we pick and choose the stuff we like out of that fat piece of mostly plot-free literature and claim it's somehow The Way Things Ought To Be? (fyi, I'm not an atheist. I'm agnostic. I have no idea if there's a deity but I definitely don't think the bible is anything to take seriously, and don't even get me started on the concept of prayer.)

And of course, marijuana is evil. It's a drug. It is completely and totally different than legal substances like tobacco and caffeine, both of which cause physical withdrawal symptoms if you stop, or alcohol, which can actually kill you in any number of ways if you drink too much of it, and oh yeah! Also causes physical symptoms if you become addicted and try to stop. Sweat much, buddy? You could argue states are getting revenue from being able to fine people, but aren't they also losing money by arresting people? (please don't answer that. I don't actually care.)

But I don't understand why they're issues because I can't fathom how people can think that way. Why can't everyone get married? Marriage is mostly stupid anyway (more on that under D). What people want is the ability to declare their love (that's a simple way of putting it); save money on taxes (I think this is stupid); and have the rights necessary to visit their loved one in the hospital should tragedy strike, and make the big decisions in that sort of scenario, and all that sort of thing. I absolutely loathe the idea that someone wouldn't be able to visit his or her partner in the hospital if something awful happened.

And marijuana... I'm sorry, but do you ever hear stories about high drivers? Don't smoke and drive! Or stoned fights? Most people are going to smoke and settle in on the couch for a movie. They don't want to move, much less try to operate a car or fight anyone. And if someone does drive stoned, they'll be driving like a little old person - ssssslllllooooowwwwwlllllyyyyy. Yes, some strains make you more energetic, but in my experience, that just means I'm going to get up and clean my apartment. From what I'm heard, things like that are pretty common reactions to the more energizing strains.

I'm disappointed in the number of people in our nation that are still voting against those things, but especially the marriage one, because that's about people and love and entire lives, not a nice recreational activity. Yet, more people voted for legalizing pot in Washington state than did vote for same-sex marriage. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Not to mention the presidential rage I read today - there's an article sharing tweets from people saying really awful horrific racist things about Obama and I almost cried because I just couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that there are still so, so many of those people out there. Adults, teenagers - people not living in caves. And they have friends who laugh and agree with them and say even worse things. I just don't get it.

And now, dear friends who may not in fact be very dear nor even friends, I'm going to be a big ol' cock tease and not write about divorce yet. That's one I've been stewing on for a few months now, as I've talked to more friends who either are miserable in their marriages, or know people who are miserable in their marriages. The summary of my thoughts is: holy shit, people, divorce does not even remotely carry the evil home-wrecking stigma it used to! Yes, it's scary and yes, it's hard, but if you're that unhappy - especially if both of you are - then fucking do something about it! You have kids? So what? A. your kids will pick up that their parents aren't happy and don't want to be around each other, so you're not really saving them from anything and B. kids whose parents are still together are probably more of the minority these days. Getting a divorce doesn't mean you have to stop being a good parent.

Hm. Okay, soon I'll devote a whole post to my feelings on marriages (some are good! some are wonderful! I have friends I can look at and think, those are people who are really meant for each other, and they should and will have a long and loving relationship) and divorces (seriously) later. Anyone who might have input for that in advance, go ahead and comment or shoot me an email (bunneh.d at gmail).

1 comment:

  1. The idea of marriage has changed a lot over time but it's still burdened with old ways of thinking.

    I would like to say it's odd to think there was a time when blacks and whites couldn't get married, but I'm reminded of an article I read a few years back where a church in the south wouldn't let a male and female couple get married because they weren't the same race.

    I'm not sure if it's because people can only feel better about themselves by keeping something from someone else or because an old dusty book told them so. That same dusty book doesn't want you to eat bacon either so what does that tell you.

    I'm not innocent on the issue of gay marriage. I voted for it in this election, but used to think it should only before straight couples. Keep in mind this is also when I thought sex outside of marriage was a bad thing.

    Hopefully at some point you realize the ideas you grew up with aren't necessarily true and you're thinking changes.