But there's really only one list that I'm capable of writing.
I want to make this clear: none of these points make anyone a bad person. But they do mean you (or your loved one) should seek advice from a trustworthy professional. Remember: it's okay to not be normal. Just be aware of that fine line between "eccentric" and "batshit crazy."
Signs that you (or someone you know) might be crazy:
- Your house is in a decent neighborhood, but there's wax paper over all of the windows "so no one can see in"
- Your house is covered in security cameras
- You never leave your house (and you have a new excuse whenever anyone asks)
- You crouch down in your car if you do leave your house, "so no one will notice"
- You're always afraid of something
- The Enemy (the culprit behind all of your unhappiness) changes on a weekly basis
- You have proof that The Enemy exists: it's a grainy, pitch black image taken by a cheap security camera at night
- Those dirty smears on the skylight (which hasn't been cleaned in years) are actually threatening messages written by The Enemy, but no one believes you
- The police "never do anything" with your police reports (which means they must be in league with The Enemy)
- The Enemy is "pure evil"
- You never get rid of anything (and you say you're "about to start going through it" if anyone asks)
- You use an old SUV that can't move anymore as a large trash container
- You always think that if someone asks for one thing, they actually need a box of those things
- Your house is full of things you don't need and don't have a place for
- You keep buying more things because it makes you feel better
- As soon as anything goes missing, even inside your house, you immediately think it was stolen
- You use a shovel to scoop your cat's litter box
- You keep a plastic bin full of cat hair that you brushed off of a cat you had five years ago
- Family and friends watch the news/hoarding shows expecting to see you on TV
- The cat puke on the rug has been there for five years
- You think you're the only person who can stop The Enemy/catch the thieves/save the kittens
- You believe no one will take you seriously unless you exaggerate things a little bit (but it's not the same as lying, because you'd never lie)
- You're capable of justifying anything that you say or do, because you'd never say or do anything wrong
- When your family brings up the possibility of therapy or something being wrong, you get defensive and claim they need therapy
- You are the unhappiest person you know
If you want to hear more about any of those points in particular, just leave a comment. Otherwise, I'll start going through stories as I see fit. Mwahahahahah!