Friday, May 24, 2013

Just an Average Friday Morning

Genie: can we talk about virgins?
Peanut: of course!
Genie: would you ever date one?
Peanut: I have
Peanut: I wouldn't *now*
Peanut: but in my 20s I took ... 3 virginities
Genie: you minx!
Peanut: I do what I can
Peanut: someone has to teach these boys!


Peanut: god will get rid of acne, too
Peanut: but only if you promise to ONLY have sex for procreation
Genie: thats what I do! sex only for procreation
Genie: weird how it doesnt seem to be working. i'd better keep tryin
Peanut: you can't do it in any position except missionary
Peanut: other positions are deviant
Genie: ooohhhh...well that there's gonna be a problem
Peanut: you do it in a sex swing, don't you?
Peanut: I knew it
Genie: no way. people break legs on those things


Col. Dr.: I just have a few good stories, mostly about trying to break up without it being my fault and revenge on a best friend who started dating an ex
Peanut: oh yes, the "try to get him to dump me" move
Peanut: I'm very good at that
Peanut: what was the revenge?
Col. Dr.: it was multi stage monkey shining
Col. Dr.: signing him up for gay magazines, not porn, but "gay teen life" "Out" stuff like that, so that his parents would see these magazines being delivered for him
Col. Dr.: lunch meat in his car
Col. Dr.: bought him a goat
Peanut: wait
Peanut: really?
Col. Dr.: had it delivered to his house
Col. Dr.: yup
Col. Dr.: tried to buy a sheep, but they were much more expensive
Col. Dr.: but the farmer dropped the goat right off
Col. Dr.: left a blow up doll outside his window in the yard
Col. Dr.: left notes to teachers from him, about how much he liked them
Col. Dr.: at some point it became more about the next prank than the revenge


Oh, and as of this morning, I can now add +1 to people I've seen shirtless at this company. *sigh* He was changing in the parking lot...

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