On a Lighter Note

IM'ing with my boss..

Peanut: I've seen 2 people at this company with shirts off unintentionally and 1 intentionally
Peanut: I think maybe I've reached my quota
Peanut: wait no
Peanut: 4

boss: ha

Peanut: because old_boss wasn't wearing a shirt when he did the Dirty Dash

boss: do I hear a 6?

Peanut: har har
Peanut: the rest have been fired/quit
Peanut: um
Peanut: okay
Peanut: 5

boss: lol

Peanut: shit
Peanut: 6

...and then I heard my boss laugh from across the room.

Whiskey Burns

Time to get this blog back on track! Less self-exploration, more SEX STORIES! Woooo!

So while reading this one, it's probably best if you just pretend you don't actually know me. Although I suppose if nothing I've written so far has made you think less of me, nothing will, and as usual I have to ask myself if it matters. I mean... this is who I am. Sometimes I'm sweet and lovey and want nothing more than a solid, intimate, snuggley Relationship, and sometimes I'm raucous and slutty and out there. Just sort of depends on my mood and where I'm at in life, etc etc.

This story is clearly from a raucous slutty phase, although it wasn't planned. Back in the day, I was hanging out with these folks who were/are in a fire performing troupe. ("troupe" is such a weird word... sort of haughty, but also brings to mind images of dirty carnival people for some reason.) Some spun poi, some breathed fire, some did whatever else there is to do with fire. When I discovered they had not done vapor locks, I was shocked.

Naked in the rain

The last post was SO SERIOUS OMG WHAT

So let me tell you about riding a bicycle in the rain and about 50 degree weather with a startling brisk breeze once in a while. While naked.

A couple of buddies (and "buddies" is the word I use to describe people with whom I am friendly, but rarely hang out - we're Facebook friends, and can probably count our in-person interactions on one hand - I feel it's important to conveying the spirit of this event to point out that really, I barely know these dudes) decided last minute to join in the fun, and brought along another friend I'd never met. We rode to the painting party, paid our dues, and walked in... to a room packed with nekkies. Suddenly, wearing clothes seemed really awkward.

We found a spot, stripped, and hunkered down to unpack paints and such. Then the 3 boys stood up. I was still fiddling with paints, when I glanced up, took in my, er, surroundings, and sprang to my feet quickly. "Suddenly I felt really weird being the only one still kneeling..."

Naked Bicycling... it's a Thing

Around here, we have an annual parade and celebration for the Summer Solstice. One of the unofficial parts of the parade is the naked cyclists. It's this group of people (a group that gets larger every year) who "crash" the parade, riding just ahead, pretty much naked and covered in paint. Sometimes there are skateboarders and rollerbladers, people in costumes, various states of undress, but most are totally free-flying.

And gang... I'm doing it this year.

I just bought my first bike since college, and I figure gravity hasn't taken a huge toll on me yet, so... now's the time. I'm not an exhibitionist. I get nervous in front of crowds, even if I know every single person in the crowd, and I'm not very good on my bike yet. Going uphill is still quite a struggle and I'm worried about crashing/falling. I do plan to go get some cheap flesh-colored undies (just bottoms) somewhere because I am not quite that brave, but otherwise... yeah. Eeek.

BUT I'M GONNA DO IT

So what I need from you guys... (OMG LIST TIME YAY)

1. encouragement!!
2. anyone else who wants to do this with me?
3. ideas for painting myself. There's a good chance I will be asking total strangers to paint my (mostly) nude self, and I don't have a lot of money for lots of paint colors, so I need something relatively simple. (I may just go all blue and wear cut-off shorts...)
4. did I mention encouragement? Because it's now less than a week away and I am getting nervous!
5. cross fingers we have lovely sunny warm weather like we did yesterday, and not yucky gray cloudy wet weather like we had this morning. I'm not exactly going to be wearing a jacket.

Ready... set... IDEAS! (also, if you're gonna be around that morning and you're artistically inclined and want to be my Painter, please let me know asap!)

Tiny World

Before I tell this story, I want to share a quote from a show called Dead Like Me. It's kind of an old show but I only recently discovered (and devoured) it. There's this real asshole on a few episodes, and at one point he imparts this gem (which is a list so NATURALLY I love it):

Five reasons men are scum and women let us get away with it. 
1. we only want one thing. No exceptions. 
2. we fall in love with you before we can have that thing and then fall back out once we've had it, whereas women conversely fall in love afterwards. 
3. we will lie, cheat, steal or murder in order to get that thing... why am I sugarcoating this, you're a big girl... in order to fuck you. 
4. we freely admit the numbers one, two, three, and women don't care. 
And the number five reason why men are scum and women let us get away with it: you can't live without us.

The topmost reason I love that? #2. So stupid, so simple, and SO FUCKING TRUE.

And now on to today's story... the story of how my big city got reeeeeeeally itty-bitty the other night. While I was naked.